I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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