# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
