your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize