in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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