Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
