I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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