Even the bartender felt bad for me
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
