The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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