He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
