i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
