I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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