I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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