Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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