pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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