Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Randomize
