My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
