also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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