The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
