There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
