My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
