Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
