i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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