Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
