aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
