Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
