2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just threw up on my dentist
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize