He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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