Non-Jews are for practice
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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