I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
