Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
