I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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