So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize