your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
