omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
