So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You don't make any sense
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