Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
being pregnant is like rehab
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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