lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
