The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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