found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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