I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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