I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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