he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Are we still banned from the library?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
