I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
