I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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