1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
