Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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