Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
