She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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