If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
