Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
