i jhust puked up my retainher.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Randomize
