I love black thongs
I think I won the penis lottery.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
