I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
