So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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