just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
