The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
