My first STD was from a foam party
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
