are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
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