nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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