That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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