i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
