Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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