Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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