Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize